-Life-

Naked and confused I stand here shivering. Behind me you stand, watching my silhouette against the moon, tears soaking into pillows clutched by fragile hands to your trembling breast. How we long to cross that gap that divides us. There we stand, reaching out for each other, so needy, so desperate. So alone, yet unable to even look at each other. Around us, the world pulsates with the rhythm of naked lovers lost in youthful abandon or, perhaps, painted delusions. Who’s to say which? My heart beats in time to this passionate plea; ringing out through paper walls. Music that rises to a crescendo and fades, as does everything, although not all so noble or so vile. As the pulsation stops, so does my heart, for just that moment, and I hope. But all we do is hope, and there's precious little of that left. so the moon keeps shining as Shiva dances, and in the street, the homeless man weeps because he found himself, and in doing so, lost the world. This is my story. This is life.

This is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of going back to what was, of not having the strength to keep things together, to not love our destructiveness, our explosiveness. I’m afraid of loosing control, I’m afraid of having control. I’m afraid of doing damage that can't be undone. I’m afraid of heartbeats that match mine. I’m afraid of soft hands that reach for me in the darkness.